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Post by coldflame on Mar 15, 2008 12:35:56 GMT -5
Kiran had continued swinging as he watched Kiku go around the tree and come back with something that looked centuries old; a picnic basket is what it seemed to be. He blinked confusedly at it for a moment, but grinned as Kiku opened the basket and exclaimed in disgust at a revolting, molded sandwich.
He smiled softly as he watched her unfold an old blanket while still swinging back and forth, however slowing. Kiran couldn’t help but notice at how lady-like she sat on the ground, her slender legs crossed in such a delicate way. Kiku always had a gentle grace to her, especially in the way she moved. He always seemed to notice that about her and he loved to watch, of course. So, naturally, when Kiku offered a seat next to her, he was hardly able to refuse.
He gave a final push, and with great exuberance, jumped off the swing at its peak. He gracefully flew into the air and promptly landed on his bare feet, passing Kiku a few yards as he did so. Once he stood again, he smiled warmly and dutifully walked back over to her. He plopped on the old, yellow blanket beside her and watched the swing he had just been on move back and forth in a lifeless motion.
“So…” he began as he leaned on the back on the palms of his hands, “…I’m guessing this is where you and Daichi used to hang out.” He glanced back at her once the swing had stopped moving and, yes, already knew that this was the place where Kiku and her friend would have obviously been.
Kiran was becoming more and more curious about this Daichi person. Kiku seemed to talk about him a lot and knew that she missed him greatly – Kiran had seen her cry over him before. Kiran couldn’t help but wonder if Kiku was ever romantic with this guy. She said she hardly was, but hardly to Kiran meant ‘only a little’; he almost felt jealous for it, but he seemed more curious.
So, very casually and rather unashamedly, he asked:
“…Were you and Daichi ever romantic? Even a little?” He looked at her with a skeptical gaze at the last part of his question, knowing that Kiku would have replied in denial if he didn’t add it. But ‘even a little’ still meant something.
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Post by kiku on Mar 15, 2008 18:21:53 GMT -5
Kiku felt comforted as Kiran took his place beside her – warmer inside, as if he was indeed a sun as his name suggested; the closer he came to her, at least, the warmer she felt, in both a physical and mental sense. She observed him quietly as he took his place, cocoa eyes softening yet sparkling at some small triumph. However, her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed faintly in surprise as Kiran asked his question.
“Us?” Kiku echoed, and, once again, a small, breezy laugh escaped her pale lips at the thought. Though, she did pause for a moment, as if remembering some faint memory of them together – Daichi’s muddy eyes observing her with some kind of shy interest, his smile faint but suggestive. From her reclining position, Kiku let her gaze wander in the direction of the flowing ripples of the river, thinking of what to say.
“We never were, really,” Kiku began in a soft and thoughtful voice. “We were friends ever since we met; though, while I was about thirteen maybe, Daichi did seem a little interested. I was flattered, I suppose, so we did try to be more than friends for a little while…”
Kiku drifted off for a moment then, feeling a cool breeze ruffle her hair, watching it similarly whisk through the branched of the surrounding trees.
“But it didn’t really work. We just didn’t feel that way for each other,” she explained gently. “We learned about what we did feel though. He’s just like an older brother – a very close one. He can be protective. But. We understand each other very deeply. I can ask him anything…”
She drifted off there, suddenly yearning for her friend’s presence, and, even more desperately, his advice. What would she say about her in this situation? How would he advise her to act? Would he understand how she felt about him, and would he support it? She nearly laughed again at the thought of him giving her dating advice. Though, it was very tempting to write a letter…
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Post by coldflame on Mar 16, 2008 17:13:41 GMT -5
“Hnm…” Kiran mused, looking back out over the water as Kiku did so, thinking.
Kiran was fairly satisfied with Kiku’s answer. Not only did her and Daichi ever end up in a true relationship, but Kiku did have someone that cared for her; someone else besides Kiran himself, of course. He was envious of her for that – he had friends, yes, but as he mentioned to her before, there were hardly any childhood friends when he was younger. It seemed understandable though, considering the amount of time he was training and moving from village to village.
But, if anything, Kiran was more envious of Daichi for having Kiku so close to him. Kiran knew perfectly well that his devotion for Kiku exceeded his expectations, but there was a line there – a line that he drew between himself and Kiku. ‘You can’t cross that line,’ Kiran would tell himself, ‘You’ll make her simple and easy life complicated if you do.’
Kiran could have even drawn that line in the sand if he wanted to; it seemed so easy to do, but Kiran could already begin to feel that line seeping away in the water’s edge and fading away. Every time Kiku said something flattering about him or when she would simply touch his hand (which seemed so casual to do before), another part of the line he drew would break off.
He couldn’t think about this for very long. He realized he had dazed away slightly with those fogged and distant golden eyes of his again. Besides, it was heartbreaking to think about that line.
Wanting to continue the conversation, Kiran looked back at Kiku with a faint smile and replied softly, “’Nothing wrong with that, though.” He looked back out over towards the swing and the sand, noticing his footprints leading in a crooked line towards them. “Not very many people can find those sorts of friends. You’re lucky.”
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Post by kiku on Mar 16, 2008 19:29:19 GMT -5
“Hm. I am very lucky,” Kiku murmured softly in reply to Kiran’s comment. And as she observed Kiran right beside her – his smooth, pale skin and full, round bottom lip – the warmth in her chest and stomach seemed to confirm that. She had soon sat up as Kiran became silent, and followed his gaze over to the ocean before looking back to him, a faintly inquisitive look present in her warm eyes. She had wondered what he was thinking, what the fog in his handsome golden eyes could possibly mean to her. She was lucky, she knew, but Kiku doubted that she could be lucky enough to have Kiran any closer than he was right now…
But after she had spoken, Kiku found she was indeed curious about the fortunate young women in his life that had been close to him. Surely there had been several at least – why, looking at him, Kiku knew he was terribly handsome, and talking to him revealed how deep and noble he truly was. She couldn’t help but ask.
“Well, now,” she began, glancing to Kiran with a quizzically cute smile, a faintly mischievous sparkle in her eyes. “Surely a young lady or two has been fortunate enough to become close to you as well. What kind of girls have you been romantic with, Kiran?”
Kiku’s cheeks pinked naturally at these words, but she chuckled softly, and spoke easily as if to apologize for the seeming bluntness of the question.
“I’m quite curious.”
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Post by coldflame on Mar 16, 2008 20:36:37 GMT -5
Kiran should have known that this question was coming. Talking about his past relationships was a strange subject to talk about…well, with Kiku anyways. But he knew that he couldn’t keep anything from her, especially when she had that mischievous and curious glint in her eyes.
He searched his memory a bit and flashes of women’s faces appeared, though blurry- except for one. The only girl whom Kiran had ever truly fallen for was Amala. It seemed like such a long time ago – he was sixteen when he had met her, though her face remained perfectly in his memory.
He smiled softly back at Kiku, chuckling a little at her teasing voice.
“I’ve met many women before, but there haven’t been many relationships among them; most were just simply girls who I knew when I was training to become an engineer.” He paused for a moment, wondering if Kiku would have a reaction to telling her about Amala, though he wanted to tell her the truth anyways. After all, it would probably seem like a lie if he didn’t tell her.
“Though, there was one girl that caught my attention around that time. Her name was Amala – she was a nurse at the military shipping docks,” he chuckled slightly at his next sentence, his gaze moving back toward the river, “I was desperate to get her attention and ended up doing stupid things, but it worked in the end.”
His smile slightly faded a little after that; he watched the river for a few seconds, remembering why their relationship had ended in such a slow and quiet way.
“I loved her…but my rising career had a tighter hold on me. Eventually my training ended and I left the port. I tried coming back to see her, but it was difficult. We wrote letters to each other…and one day the letters just stopped coming.”
He looked back at Kiku and simply shrugged with his smile being a bit sheepish.
“I haven’t been very romantic with anyone since then. I’ve just been so consumed in my work…Not mention that I was in bed for almost two years recovering from my injury.”
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Post by kiku on Mar 17, 2008 20:35:37 GMT -5
As Kiran spoke, Kiku listened with intent and earnest interest, her gaze rarely straying from his strong form or fair face. Though, while she was indeed glad he was telling her these things, Kiku couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt take root in her stomach, for as Kiran spoke of this sad event, it showed in his face, was faintly present in his warm voice. And she couldn’t help but feel a strange mix of pity and jealously for this beloved Amala girl as well, which only intensified the concern and faint hurt present in her own large eyes.
It seemed so unfair somehow that Kiran was sitting here beside her – was with her another time – here, now, after he had left and would have normally not have come back, while Amala had simply drifted away, unable to be with him, soak up his warm personality and embrace… And then, contrasting with this, Kiku felt almost ecstatic that she and Kiran were here together, alone, while this Amala girl was somewhere across the ocean. It was selfish, she knew, but how could not feel envy? Kiran had loved her (the word had thrown her off), and, despairingly, Kiku knew they would never be so close, that Kiran would be able to say the same about her, as dearly as she wished it to be. How lucky the girl had been… How sad this story seemed to end for Kiran, for both of them. Would her story end the same way?
No, she wouldn’t let that happen. If Kiran was gone for months, years… Kiku would do whatever was in her power to keep in contact with him, for how could she stand it if she lost this dear friend – one who made her feel so lighthearted and whole inside?
Gently, Kiku laced her soft fingers into Kiran’s own hand, hoping somehow that might soothe the harshness of the unhappy ending. She observed him with soft eyes as well, an encouraging smile.
“I’m sorry that happened to you, Kiran,” Kiku murmured quietly, squeezing his strong hand for a moment. “But I’m sure you’ll find the right someone soon -- a girl who will stay with you through those hard times.”
Like I would…
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Post by coldflame on Mar 19, 2008 21:41:03 GMT -5
Kiran had almost wished Kiku hadn’t taken his hand into hers, for it made her words seem almost a little painful. Yet, he knew he could never slip his fingers away from the soft skin of her palm – it would not only hurt her feelings, but possibly his as well; this thought only made Kiran’s grip on her hand a little tighter.
To not make it seem as if his story was any bigger than it needed to be, Kiran offered Kiku a gentle smile.
“…Maybe,” he simply replied. It was obvious in the corners of his mind that Kiran would easily find a girl to be happy with. Spirits knew that when he returned home his father and a few of his friends would take him to the city to meet some of the ladies; they usually did this anyway when work wasn’t consuming them. Though, as Kiran wondered this - his gaze quickly flickering over Kiku’s features as he thought – and couldn’t seem to find anything he wanted more in a woman than from what he saw in Kiku.
He quickly glanced over towards his feet at this thought and distractedly meshed his toes in the coarse sand; it seemed complicated for him to feel so devoted to her, but that was all he could be or feel and nothing more. But he couldn’t shake off her lovely qualities that compelled him; she accepted him in every way imaginable despite their solemn differences and they had easily become friends. Yes, Kiran knew he was being hopeless with himself as he thought this; it felt like he was going in circles with his feelings – it was maddening.
He had seemed to think this through very quickly, and after his feet were completely buried in the sand, he looked back at Kiku with a handsome smile, easily hiding his frustration.
“And…you don’t have to apologize. It was a long time ago when that happened.” He smiled reassuringly at her (for did he see slight pain in her eyes?) and gazed back over at the river, his warm grip tightening on her hand.
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Post by kiku on Mar 23, 2008 16:59:47 GMT -5
“True,” Kiku murmured thoughtfully, her own gaze drifting off toward the river. Inside she felt quite warm and content – no doubt because of Kiran’s pleasingly firm grip on her hand. His touch was so warm, his hand so strong… It was an intoxicating feeling to say the least, and she was glad that Kiran was squeezing hers so tightly, for Kiku knew she would have been tempted hold it tighter if he hadn’t. It almost made her imagination wander… But, of course, that was silly. They were just friends sharing a few old memories, expressing comfort for the more painful ones…
“But, sometimes things that happened a long time ago can still hurt us,” Kiku continued then in a soft, breezy voice, her thoughts wandering to events that had hurt her own family, her personally. Her father was the obvious example, of course – the day of his injury had affected both his physical and mental state drastically. He still hated that life-changing moment so much it affected his mood toward one of her dearest friends and an entire nation. Hana too, though, had experienced pain as well. When her husband died – so young – it hurt Kiku’s Gram so much. Hana had become a better healer because of it, but Kiku knew her grandmother still felt death’s sting, missed her husband. And, there was Kiku also, of course.
“Thinking of when Daichi left still upsets me sometimes,” Kiku murmured softly. “I remembered how worried I was… almost furious that he was leaving. When I think about that day, it only seems to intensify the concern I feel from him now…” She paused then, feeling Kiran’s strong, comforting grip before stroking her soft thumb against the back of his hand. “…But it has gotten easier. I know that’s just how things have to be.”
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Post by coldflame on Mar 23, 2008 19:41:09 GMT -5
“But it sounds like Daichi knows what he wants; give him that much credit,” Kiran replied softly, easily feeling Kiku’s concern with the stroke of her thumb. She was very good at expressing what she wanted to say without saying it; her tender touch was enough to simply understand her pain.
And yes, pain was something that could easily be a part of anyone’s past, including his. Some of the pain, if not most, was subtle and only understood by himself. The pain of his parents leaving him all the time as a child, the harsh work his father put him through as Kiran moved toward his decided career, and in turn putting hidden frustration towards his father for it. His injury was easily something that made him feel useless and weak; the inability to run away from his home that held him captive for what seemed like eternity almost drove him mad with pain. To this day, he hasn’t been able to stay inside his own home for a certain period of time – that painful emptiness of his large house was too much sometimes. Kiran also felt the pain his mother went through. He knew she felt that empty quietness of their home engulf too, but only when his father wasn’t around to talk to her. Just as Kiku was worried for her friend going into the military, Kiran’s mother was equally afraid and worried as well, but for her son. He understood this, but he never let on about his pain to her – it would only make her worry even more. Feeling Amala’s pain through the last letter she sent to him was also unforgettable; he knew that the worry his mother felt for him related to Amala’s worry and the fact that simply waiting for him for how ever long was painful for both her and Kiran. He knew it was his fault for worrying them, but his frustrating career and habits wouldn’t let him stay in one place. Whenever he thought about it, it still stung a little.
It was for this reason that Kiran hated staying at home for very long, doing what his father told him to do, and being afraid to get too close to Kiku. Even though Kiku said things were getting easier for her, Kiran knew that it was only getting easier because he was there with her now; she seemed so much brighter since the first time he met her. For this reason, he knew it would only double her worry – for him and for Daichi – if he said those itching, frustrating three words to her and then had to leave her. He was right; he had to be.
At this, his eyes flashed at hers with a hidden intensity. He spoke softly, his gaze drifting to the sandy floor and occasionally glancing at their intertwined hands.
“I know what that worry feels like…” He flexed his fingers and then held firmly again, “But maybe Daichi is happy to get away and do something, you know? Maybe he’s like me: can’t stay in one place when there are things to do or places to go.” And as if trying by some glimmer of hope to lessen the worry for her, he said, “Just… try not to think that something bad will happen. Sometimes it’s painful to hear that someone is worried about you, because you know you can’t do anything to stop it…alright?” He then looked to her…and simply offered her a small smile.
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Post by kiku on Mar 23, 2008 20:30:39 GMT -5
“I suppose,” Kiku murmured thoughtfully, finally turning her soft gaze back to Kiran, though it soon drifted toward their intertwined hands. She squeezed his hand gently for a moment then, incredibly thankful for his company, his voice, his touch; it was just so nice to have someone to talk to, to be understood. To be at peace.
“But. When I worry about someone… that just means I care. I’d like to think that friends like Daichi are comforted by the fact that someone cares about them. Especially when things and people seem so unforgiving these days and more so where he is…”
Kiku drifted off then, automatically thinking about Daichi and what he must be doing. Surely he was hard at work; he would like that. Yes, doing something with his life, for the world, out of his comfort zone. Like Kiran had said.
“And, yes, Daichi is a lot like that,” Kiku added, smiling a little at this thought. “That’s why he left. He was frustrated here, where he couldn’t help anyone…”
She sighed a little at the memory. Selfless, noble-old Daichi.
“You remind me of him.”
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Post by coldflame on Mar 27, 2008 20:18:53 GMT -5
Kiran had silently nodded in agreement with Kiku as she spoke of her concern for Daichi, simply because she cared about him. He knew that there was nothing wrong about caring for a friend of course, but it was the worry along with that concern that could truly drive a person into emptiness. Nonetheless, Kiku had a point and Kiran equally respected it even though it did little to change his mind.
But now he was taken aback slightly. He reminded her of Daichi? It shouldn’t have made Kiran feel so compared so quickly. It almost made him feel…blended in; unrecognizable. How was he supposed to be something in Kiku’s eyes if all it did was remind her of her missing friend?
His brow furrowed slightly and his gaze locked onto Kiku’s face in what appeared to be…uncertainty. Perhaps it was horrible to think this, but did Kiku enjoy his company simply because she saw Kiran as a sort of…substitute for Daichi? This had bothered him before, but he made no notion about it. However, as Kiku continued to mention Daichi more and more, Kiran couldn’t help but wonder. His heart could have snapped in half at the thought, but he remained calm; he had more faith in Kiku than that, but that didn’t stop him from asking.
“…Is that what you want?” Kiran asked her, his brow still furrowed, “Do you like me being here because…I remind you of Daichi?” His head tilted slightly and his eyes eased the tense glint in them, just to not make it seem like his heart would break if it were true. “Or do you like me being here because I’m me?” Kiran’s gaze glanced down toward the sand. He promptly picked up a small sized rock and threw it across the surface of the river, counting the number of skips it made along the water before it sank.
He continued to gaze out at the water and watch the ripples he created along the surface take shape before he said softly, “I hope I’m not a substitute person.”
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Post by kiku on Mar 27, 2008 21:19:29 GMT -5
Kiku’s large, brown eyes widened as Kiran spoke and once she comprehended his meaning. To say she was horrified would be saying the least, for thinking that she didn’t love Kiran’s company because he was him… Well, nothing could be farther from the truth.
“No! Of course not!” Kiku blurted quickly, tense and leaning forward slightly with intensity, her eyes focusing, unyielding and firmly sincere, on Kiran’s now-distressed face. “Of course I like you being here because you’re you. I just meant that… there are just a few things… that… I….”
Kiku drifted off then, blushing furiously as she stumbled over her words, as if she was unsuccessfully apologizing for some unforgivably scandalous act; though, in her mind, it nearly was. For how could Kiran ever not stand out in her mind? He practically consumed her thoughts nowadays; she felt continuously intoxicated with his very presence, with the warmth and depth of his personality. There was a spark she felt while with Kiran that had never existed with Daichi – a thick warmth in her chest, a fluttering restlessness in her stomach, a tingling eagerness itching on her fingertips…
She took a deep breath, rearranging her thoughts, making them comprehensible.
“You’re not a substitute, Kiran,” Kiku replied in a very soft, very sincere voice. “I do love having you around, because you are yourself. You… you’ve done me a lot of good being yourself, actually. Made things brighter for me…”
She glanced up at him with soft, apologetic eyes then, both her hands curling around and brushing against his before she again squeezed his intertwined fingers tenderly. A soft blush dusted against her cheeks.
“I feel… very different when I’m with you.”
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Post by coldflame on Mar 29, 2008 15:24:21 GMT -5
Kiran chuckled softly. He had hoped that that was going to be the reaction he would receive from his words. It was obvious that she wasn’t lying, which he knew she wasn’t – he was almost startled by her outburst. However, he was happy and so very relieved to be so.
He looked to her and gave her one of his crooked smiles. How in the world was it possible to not believe Kiku? She was incredibly adorable with her wide, chocolate-brown eyes looking up at him, making his heart warm. Though, that did not compare to the words that spilled out of her thin lips. At first – when she paused – he was curious as to what she was thinking. He hated it whenever she paused or hesitated with her words; she was always leaving him guessing. Though, when she spoke again, it was exactly what he wanted to hear from her. Everything that she said and anything that she did was appreciated, surprising, welcoming, and gentle; it was unlike anything else he heard from someone, because it was all said in her own, shy way.
But he couldn’t grasp the concept of him being this person that Kiku let on for him to be. He wasn’t a fascinating or an incredible man, but the way she seemed to carry on about him being so was confusing. It was impossible to convince Kiku otherwise and since there was also no use in not believing her, perhaps he was simply just going to have to start agreeing. Though, since Kiku’s words seemed so true and sincere…it was without a doubt that her last few words struck him the hardest, despite the fact that he had heard them all before.
“Good,” he said, his smile widening slightly. “I had a feeling you would say that. You know I trust you.”
He chuckled again, shaking his head slightly and glancing at the strength Kiku seemed to have on his hands; it was as if she was afraid he might stand up and leave if she did not hold on. Sometimes, such as moments like these, it was impossible to not think about how much he loved her.
He then plopped back against the slope of sand that was behind him and peacefully lay there, his hand still under the grip of hers as he closed his eyes against the blasting rays of the sun.
“...You worry too much…” he murmured softly, smiling a little at his own words.
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Post by kiku on Mar 29, 2008 19:26:25 GMT -5
“Perhaps,” Kiku murmured softly, suddenly much more calm. A dazed smile slowly curled up into her lips, and her shoulders relaxed back while she kept Kiran’s strong hand twisted cozily between her soft, slender fingers. Her eyelids drooped slightly, and she observed him gently with her peaceful, half lidded brown eyes as he rested back against the sand, a soft blush faintly dusting against her cheeks at the effect the bright sun had against his pale cheeks, closed eyelids, and soft, heartbreaking smile.
Naturally, she was immensely relieved that Kiran seemed to sincerely believe her and take no offense to her earlier comment, but the relief was only one reason why she suddenly felt so light and breezy. As Kiran lay there, perfectly peaceful and handsome, a sudden, or perhaps gradual, warmth seemed to twirl within her chest and stomach, and she found that gripping Kiran’s large hand was the only thing keeping her from reaching for his face. And at this thought, her blush only became more pronounced, though she smiled and averted her gaze downward as she slowly stroked her soft thumb from his wrist up to the center of his palm.
Oh, how she would do anything just to nudge just a bit closer to him. It was so tempting to just relax and recline along side him in the sand… But, to Kiku, that seemed much too obvious, perhaps suggestive. She already was drawing it close by being so affectionate with his hand. Oh, why did she have to be so enamored with him? It was just going to hurt in the end.
Silently, Kiku shook those thoughts away. She would only enjoy him now; and how could she not? It was so easy to admire his smile.
After a few more moments of peaceful silence, Kiku chuckled softly.
“You look cozy,” she teased in a sweet, gentle voice.
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Post by coldflame on Mar 31, 2008 20:19:00 GMT -5
Kiran chuckled.
“Mm…the sand is warm,” he murmured as simply one corner of his mouth remained curled up until moments passed once he started thinking again.
Lying in the sand often reminded him of when he was younger and stayed with his grandparents. Whenever his mother and father were away, one of the main reasons why he enjoyed seeing his grandparents was simply because Kiran got to be closer to the ocean. For what ever reason, the ocean was the only place where he didn’t feel so isolated.
Kiran remembered of how upset he would sometimes get whenever he would ask his grandmother when his parents would come home and she would say she didn’t know. Not knowing and not understanding probably frustrated him to no end as a kid; that was simply the main reason why Kiran was so thirsty for knowledge, to understand more – even now, wanting to know more things about the world in which he lives triggers his curiosity. But whenever his grandparents would know no more than he, especially about his parents, he would feel a wave of frustration wash over him.
So, back then, he would run down the many mahogany steps of his grandparents’ home, down the steep pathway leading into the old woods, occasionally trip and fall, and soon end up on the beach once he regained his footing. Kiran could remember everything about that place – every detail, such as the large buildings in the center of town that could be seen from the beach, but at a distance; the cliffs that stretched below the town and the sound of the ocean waves that pounded against them. That was where Kiran would go to be satisfactorily lonesome.
He suddenly smiled slightly; Kiran remembered just how long he would stay sitting in the same, sandy spot near the ocean, not moving and keeping that same, angry expression plastered on his face. Finally, his grandmother would come out to comfort him (just as he had hoped) and sit beside him and teach him how to make drip castles in the sand; his grandmother always said the right things at the right times and always made Kiran feel better, even if he didn’t want to be cheered up sometimes.
Finally, Kiran shifted one arm behind his head and sighed while still keeping his eyes closed. His mind suddenly filled with more questions; it was only natural to want to know what kind of people Kiku had in her life as well...
“Kiku…” he murmured suddenly, but softly, “…What other relatives do you have? I know there’s Hana, but do you have other grandparents? I mean...what's your family like, anyway?”
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