Stayin' Alive <Earth Kingdom>

[jochi]

And here, Jochi had thought that leaving Ba Sing Sei would end his personal hell. That was not the case. That woman, 'Ikeru' as he had learned, seemed to lord many things over his head and force him to stay with her and the boy, 'Bao Li'. When they fought, they fought hard, earthbending left and right and prompting the preteen boy in their midst to hide in fear of being broken. Even in those past two days, it wasn't strange for both of them to tire out before the battle could finish, resulting in what was more or less a draw. Neither would admit defeat before death, yet death wasn't far off. They weren't going easy on each other either, so it was a miracle neither one of them was missing a few appendages - especially because Ikeru seemed to love aiming for his groin, which he always wound up guarding carefully.

It went without saying that, by the time they arrived in that village simply called 'Ran', that both of them had suffered rather painful scrapes and their clothes were dotted with generous scrapes and shreds. Threadbare and full of holes, they looked in every way the vagabonds they actually were. As they stood at the village gate, Jochi looked around. It was a piddly place, yet still worth sniffing around for a good time - and a 'good time' in Jochi's definition meant plenty of women. Plenty. Every town had a tavern, so he could find his usual crowd there. And, if it meant ditching the bitter witch to his right and loudmouthed brat to her right, he was all for it.

Jochi huffed a bit. He wasn't too keen on staying with those two anyway, even if the reasons could possibly cost him his life or dignity - heaven forbid he lose either in good conscience. He wasn't in the best mood, but he couldn't find viable reason to complain, other than the clouds of dust on the road that wafted up his nostrils and irritated his sinuses to no end. Snorting, he gathered all the excess mucus and spat off to his side, opposite the woman. The sandbender was rather blunt in stating his opinion of the place. "Yep, another little hellhole..."

[ikeru]

[I'm NPCing Bao Li a little since Meg isn't here (RIP) and I don't wanna leave him out. ;_;]

Shoulders slumped and bare toes thumping the ground, Ikeru stood sandwiched between the boy Bao Li and the boy-child Jochi, exhausted from walking and more than a little bit peeved. They had been traveling for about two days, and for Ikeru, that much time spent with either of those two headaches was worth, well, a headache each. She cast her gaze about the town they had stumbled upon, some Podunk little BAD!-hovel by the name of 'Ran' in the county of 'Dom', and could almost feel distaste well up in her throat like bile. Working her pinky into the curve of her ear, she dug around in plain sight until she deemed it clean, then worked whatever "treasure" she had found into a ball and flicked it away, clearly throwing more than just caution to the wind--after all, they were risking exposure to some serious body lice and maybe even the clap just by standing on the fringes of the town.

She sighed in agreement after Jochi (a miracle!), folding her arms over her chest and tightening her grip on her elbows. She lazily strolled into town, assuming Jochi and Bao Li decided to follow, but abruptly stopped just a few feet away. "We're not staying here long," she decided, glancing at the two for agreement. There was no way in hell either would want to stay an extra moment in a place like this, and a quick tour around town would do more than prove her point: filthy, noisy children pounded down the roads, chasing each other with little more than a sharpened stick. Buildings sagged in disrepair and the scarce remains of plant-life never exceeded the state of being a clump of dried-out weeds. Seriously, this town sucked. Watching as a lazy hog-dog waddled past, she shuddered and turned to Bao Li. "You're coming with me."

"What? But--"

"Shut the BAD! up," she snapped, raising her hand to backhand the boy. He flinched away and heaved his shoulders in defeat, and Ikeru dropped her hand back to her side. Spirits almighty, she hated children. She settled her attention on Jochi, doing little to hide the displeasure on her face. "You go do your thing and we'll do ours. We'll meet back here at sundown, find a room, sleep, and get the hell out of here in the morning." Again, this was not a question or a possible game-plan but a statement. She had decided their schedule, and it was up to Jochi on whether or not he felt like following it. Of course every action had a reaction, and there was no need for Ikeru to remind the disastrous midget that if he chose to ignore what she had said then he was first in line for a severe ass-kicking. The tribe leader has spoken, and all that jazz.

Starting off at a slow pace, Ikeru and Bao Li wandered away from Jochi without so much as a goodbye. They had "work" to do, and the first thing on her agenda was to stop by the pub for a good drink. So that was where they were headed.

[jochi]

Who died and made her Earth Queen, oh sovereign ruler of Ba Sing Sei and the entire nation? Who did she think she was, ordering them around like they were her scorned peons? The kid may have fallen easily to her fierce growl, but Jochi was unbreakable as far as he was concerned. Even though he had already 'broken' and was forced to follow her and the whiny brat, he was allowed free reign from there on. Honestly though, he had to wonder why (other than the whole 'bound by honor' spiel) she even wanted him around. Because of the duel she won back outside Ba Sing Sei? That was a fluke - he was tired, for spirits' sake! Was it a feeling of power, as she lorded her superior height over him? What a bitch.

Jochi was, in short, not enthralled to see Ikeru and the boy heading exactly where he was about to go. The pub was the first stop on his imaginary list (which was crudely written on dirty, smudged paper, with the occasional raunchy doodle here and there - only in Jochi's mind!), but it would cramp his style massively if those two even thought of following. Thus, he sped right past the duo as their pace stayed slow. Maybe he could ignore them. He sure as hell wasn't about to go shopping before getting a good drink and an even better girl.

[ikeru]

Who made her in charge? What gave her power? Why, it was simple, really: ever since she had defeated that terrible tot in not one but two battles plus rescued him from the clutches of the Dai Li, she carried Jochi's balls around in a little leather sack tied at her waist--figuratively, of course. She could lord her height and skill over him because she BAD!ing owned him. He was her bitch through and through, and he was going to have to get used to it because there was no end in sight.

Ikeru sneered in disgust as Jochi skittered right past them, chuckling to herself as she focused on his stubbly legs scuttling over the dirt...and promptly lost all good, if malicious, humor as she watched the man duck into the exact pub she was heading for. "Oh, weak!" she complained, pinching the bridge of her nose between the ball of her thumb and index finger. She halted just outside the door, arms crossed and pondering whether to find a new bar to settle in (although it looked like this was the only place to get a decent cup of sake in a three hundred mile radius) or forget the drink all together.

Swallowing her pride was never her forte, and neither was giving someone the right of way. Turning to Bao Li, she clapped her hands over his shoulders and leveled her gaze on him. "Wait out here and be the look out. I'm gonna get piss drunk." With that, she disappeared inside the tavern, riding the wave of the boy's protest.

It was a dark and dirty hole-in-the-wall, mostly quiet save for the low murmuring of a few conversations, occupied by equal parts good, honest townsfolk drowning their measly lower-class woes in cheap alcohol and small-time criminals rolling through town looking for booze, women, a fight, or a combination of all three. There were a handful of tables situated on the floor and a slab of wood against the far wall that served as the bar proper. Wasting no time and ignoring a few strange looks from befuddled drunks ("just what the hell is a woman doing here?" she could hear them ask themselves), Ikeru made a beeline for the counter and grabbed herself a seat. Once the bartender moseyed over, she made her order and sat there in silence, shoulders hunched and fingers drumming lightly on the counter. Spirits, she hoped no one decided to pick a fight...she was just too beat and really wanted a nice, peaceful experience in getting utterly BAD!-faced.

[jochi]

Booze? Women? A fight? All three sounded like the best option for the sandbender, and, knowing Jochi, the best was soon to come. He was so frustrated with that woman, bent out of shape in every wrong way, that he needed something, or some way to release his anger. It was bottled up so tightly that it was starting to burn.

Walking right past all those half-witted drunks and insignificant sand fleas of townsfolk, Jochi plopped himself right on the farthest seat on the right, facing the bar. A habit acquired from frequenting The Misty Palms Oasis, Jochi didn't care one bit if that seat was reserved by some other drooling peon. He was there, he was Jochi, and everyone else would have to get used to it. The tattered, threadbare clothes full of holes he wore didn't show his true colors, but everyone else around was a flaming idiot if they thought less of him because of it. Hadn't they ever seen a drifter before? Jochi didn't even care to pay attention to those buffoons. What they did was their business, as the same case rested with the sandbender. Unless they were some reasonably attractive woman with a strong personality and all her curves in the right places, Jochi didn't even eye them for more than a second.

So why did the next person he happened to see happen to be Ikeru? Couldn't she leave him alone, taking a hint that he didn't want to be bothered by the fact that he came into the bar first? He felt like chucking his glass at her right there! If...he had a glass. As it stood, he had, back to the bar, been ignoring the bartender's question for a good long time. It was inevitable when you disregarded everyone else and pushed them into the background. Sneering, crossing arms, Jochi grunted as he turned his head back to the bartender. "Strongest BAD! in this joint. Pronto."

If she was gonna be there to nag him, a bit of alcohol in his system would help.

[ikeru]

Ah, at last. Her drink had arrived. Following the shady-looking bartender with her eyes as he first placed her drink in front of her then went off to do Spirits knew what, she swirled her seemingly cheap rice wine around the glass and took a swig. Instantly she shuddered and popped her normally half-mast eyes open, impressed with just how strong the drink was. She was not expecting something so potent in such a run-down place. Ikeru motioned for another and occupied her time by resting her chin in her hand, elbow placed firmly on the countertop, as her bare feet swung idly and her toes gently bumped against the front of the bar.

"Strongest BAD! in this joint. Pronto."

Ikeru looked up and caught sight of that miserable prick. Dammit. "Oh, great," she muttered, rolling her eyes and drumming her fingers louder on the counter. It seemed he just could not get enough of her tongue lashing...he was some glutton for punishment. Well then, if he wanted to be heckled, he was going to get heckled. "Bartender!" she said, grabbing the man's attention with a snap of her fingers, "make sure to put the 'strongest BAD! in this joint' in a sippy cup. I don't think he's a big enough boy for a grown-up drink." She snickered, looped a lock of hair around her ear, and pounded back another sip as the bartender, now clearly not appreciating the company of the strangers, passed her another drink.

[jochi]

Stupid karma. Damnable fate. Why did that woman have to stay so close to him at all times so Jochi couldn't enjoy himself to the fullest extent possible? Why did she have to linger over him like a buzzard-wasp, waiting to strike with an asinine quip of mockery whenever her bitchy eyes saw any opportunity whatsoever? It was honestly enough to make him lose his temper.

Fortunately (maybe not so much), that was just about to happen. Jochi was hanging over a bottomless pit of anger and rage by a single nerve, yet Ikeru seemed to act like a tiny woodpecker who hung onto that single strand and pecked away with the greatest of ease, all the while humming that accursed song about Ba Sing Sei. Swearing under his breath, Jochi heard the clink of a mug on the counter behind him, directly at ear level thanks to his lack of height. Jochi clinched his fists.

"BAD!," he muttered under his breath, clinching his jaw. Yet at that point, when he probably knew what would happen, he made a very poor choice. He egged her on. Almost accusingly, he pointed a thick beset by gigantic knuckles and copious wrappings at Ikeru. "Tell that fairy to stop dressin' like a chick!"

[ikeru]

For all intents and purposes and no matter how short-lived it was, Ikeru found herself enjoying the few moments of quiet from Jochi's end. Apparently she had ice-burned him so bad, he had been reduced to awkward and humiliated silence, left to sit and stew in his own shame at, one, being called-out on his utter lack of manly qualities (besides the bald dome and weirdly deep voice) and, two, having it done by a woman. A woman who had beat his ass in Earthbending, like, three times. Victory! Also, yes, this post is very, very late. My bad, boopy.

"Tell that fairy to stop dressin' like a chick!"

Alas! Misery! Woe! All good things could not last forever, and when Jochi opened his mouth and signed his life away with that sharp tongue of his, Ikeru was all for teaching that BAD!heel who BAD!ing wore the pants in that relationship. Dragging the tip of her finger around the lip of the sake cup, she slid off her chair and, with an eerie calm that was not very befitting, sauntered over to Jochi. Even with the added height of the chair he was sitting in she still managed to tower over him and, really, she would have it no other way.

Ikeru cocked her head to the side and leaned in close, hands on her hips and an icy frown tugging the corners of her lips down. "I'm sorry, I must've misheard you," she said, her voice low and poisonous. "It's like you've got something to say about me, but I couldn't hear you over the sound of how dead you are." With that, she slammed the heel of her foot into the bare earth and sent a tiny quake Jochi's way to bury his seat in the ground and, if possible, knock him on his ass. Victory again?

[jochi]

Knowing too well that Ikeru wouldn't stay too calm for too long, Jochi still kept to his seat until the going got rough. If by some off chance she was just assaulting him verbally, he wasn't going to fold under her searingly acrid comments. He was by no means a wimp, no matter how many twists of fate made him fall by her hand. Stressing to himself how she'd be a decimated corpse if they were in the desert served as a good enough reason to keep confident. Confident enough to return another taunt her way right after she stopped speaking and he took a large swig from his drink.

"What'chu talkin' 'bout, bitch?" It seemed appropriate from someone his height, oddly.

He'd no doubt be considered a master of earthbending if his sandbender tribe even cared about that sort of thing, so there was no skill lacking on his part. There was no reason for titles and labels in the Mogui Tribe, but only survival. It was the entire meaning of his life up 'till now, unlike these fat and lazy, spoiled and pampered Earth Kingdom villagers - even if they were poor! If he ever heard anyone complain about not having enough money, he'd probably shout a few good excuses why life in the Si Wong was worse as he was rearing to punch them in the face.

Ikeru, who probably considered herself poor for her hometown's standards, seemed to be going in the predictable route, which sparked Jochi's anger as did many things. If she was going to attack him, he was going to fight back - there was no 'if' or 'maybe' about it. Jochi was born fighting, lived fighting, and would probably die fighting (but not by Ikeru's hand this time around).

His seat was pulled deeper into the earth, but by that time, he had long since jumped off and hurdled toward Ikeru. Jochi's arms, flaying outward, followed the very motion which he was intending; namely, he would raise a clustered crop of spiky earth pillars from the ground between them and send them falling over her miserably skinny little skull at a frightening speed. Even if she did dodge, laugh out loud, and mention butts, it felt good to stretch his muscles again. Phooey on everyone else in the bar! They could leave if they didn't like it - or they could just, y'know, die in their wake of combat. Either one worked in Jochi's head.

[baoli]

With little more than complete disregard for him, Ikeru had thrown Bao Li out the door - and he was happier for it, really. Sure, he'd protested, but it was a stroke of luck being abandoned out here rather than dragged into the stupid bar after the now-swearing Ikeru. It left him with some free time to grab some money and proper food. And the clothes, of course. They'd need those. His shirt was all but falling off after their run, and a new set of pants wouldn't go amiss either. He tugged at the scraps of his clothes and scanned the small town from his position at the bar's door.

The stupid benders could watch their own backs. There was a good chance they'd just end up fighting each other anyway, and it wasn't like he could do anything to stop that from happening. Bao Li turned on his heel and marched off, a boy on a mission.

As he contemplated a mark in the nearby market stalls, he spotted the clothesline flapping in the breeze. A collection of clothes hung there - obviously from a pretty sizable family, judging from the number of them - just waiting for someone like Bao Li to swing by and go shopping. There wasn't anything fancy on the line, but that suited him just fine. He wasn't much for fancy. It made running hard.

He abandoned the market idea immediately and changed course, sneaking to the line. He crept up and down the line a few times, trying to remember how big the two drunkard benders were - he knew Ikeru was thin and taller than him, and Jochi was rounder and not as tall, but exact measurements weren't exactly on the list of things he wanted to ask either. Not if he wanted to keep his scrawny arms in their sockets. He finally made his choice and played his usual snatch-and-grab, taking a selection of outfits - one for each of them. If they needed more than that, they could get them later.

He shoved the clothes into his small bag and ran off before the lady of the house noticed she was now down three whole outfits.

[ikeru]

"What'chu talkin' 'bout, bitch?"

Ikeru could not believe her ears. She could not. BAD!ing. Believe her ears. This BAD!head, this half-man, this stumpy motherBAD!er with rocks for brains and sacs of sand for balls, this legal midget and menace to society, who had had his ass handed to him many times before and would surely suffer under Ikeru again, just could not learn how to keep his goddamn BAD!ing mouth shut. Again and again, that two-foot tower of terror had some snarky bullBAD! comment to make, usually about her, and again and again Ikeru had to lay down the law and remind him, ever so gently violently, who the BAD! ran that little triad, not with an iron fist, of course, but most definitely one sheathed in stone. It looked like Ikeru was going to have to set things straight once more, and that honestly didn't bother her. Unlike many women of her time, she was not afraid to get a little dirty, maybe scrape up her knees or bloody her nose. She was not afraid of any man or child who threatened her life (or even Jochi, whatever the BAD! category he was filed under), and she was certainly not afraid of the prospect of defeat. Sure, she didn't exactly enjoy losing, but like any good women would be able to tell you, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Or, better yet, "Speak softly and carry a big stick." In Ikeru's case, it was "Speak loudly and carry a big stick." Whatever, whatever. She didn't have time to argue the semantics of some BAD!ty little parable. Someone was aiming to have her head cracked open.

Twisting one foot inwards and grinding the heel of the other into the densely-packed dirt, she raised herself a neat little earthen platform, which she used to launch off and away from the dangerous crumbling overhead pillars just in time. Landing gracefully on her feet half a yard away, she dropped into a basic stance and prepared to smother the man-child, who always seemed to be suffering from a bad case of the terrible twos, if you asked Ikeru, in a flurry of earth and stone, dirt and dust, and whatever rocky projectile she could heave from the ground and fling at him.

That is, until the bartender cleared his throat and fixed his wandering, lazy-eyed mossy green gaze on both Jochi and Ikeru at the same time. Ikki shuddered. "Now, cut it out, you two!" he snapped, slamming his grimy fists into the bar. "I'm not gonna have any fightin or quarlin in my most esteemed place of establishment! Knock it off or get the hell out!" With that, and a round of agreements vocalized in the forms of grunts and head nods from the few remaining patrons Ikeru noted, the bartender went back to doing...well, whatever the hell it is bartenders did when they weren't serving drinks or kicking out unruly drunks.

Ikeru locked her scowling, furious eyes on Jochi. She really didn't feel like getting the boot from the only dive in town--hell, probably the only dive within a three hundred mile radius--and so, for what was probably a first in her extremely narcissistic life, she swallowed her pride and took a seat at the bar (or whatever was left of a seat) and motioned for another drink, her shoulders sagging in defeat and the corners of her mouth slumping in disdain. As the bartender filled her request and slid another cup of sake across the counter, Ikeru briefly considered wandering outside to see what the boy was up to...but laziness kicked in as she gulped down a few greedy sips, resolving to maybe try and motivate herself later to expose herself to whatever headache that damn boy was bound to whip up the moment she set her eyes on him. Ikeru dropped her elbow on the bar and slid her chin into the palm of her hand, staring Jochi down from across the bar and making silent death threats with her eyes. This isn't over, her face promised, not by a long shot.

[jochi]

Jochi was about to tear out somebody's spleen when that stupid bartender, who had no reason to do so, told the two to cut it out and like they were children, basically sent them to their respective corners of the rickety shack that claimed to be a bar. The place's roof was falling in and no doubt the two earthbenders rocked the foundation more than a little, yet the barkeep seemed to hold some senseless, deep-seated pride in the place that Jochi would never understand. He knew insipid material possessions made people too territorial, though Jochi disproved that single-handedly by treating his own body as such; he viewed it like a temple, though he treated it more like a run-down brothel from the bad part of Omashu. Jochi was hot stuff, as far as he was concerned, and this was just the icing on the delicious cakes that were always just out of reach in his childhood.

Grumbling loudly and dissatisfactorily, the sandbender tightening his arms around his chest and looked around the place again. Ikeru, like some woman defeated, was just sitting there and drinking, while that whiny brat was nowhere in sight-- probably pilfering the contents of peoples' pockets and whatnot, but Jochi felt relieved he wasn't there to say he needed to pee or eat, like that was so necessary. He was just a burden.

It was a pain in the ass, though. Jochi hated feeling like this whole situation was repaired just because the bartender told them 'no'. They weren't kids, they didn't act like kids, and they sure as heck didn't act like kids! What the hell made them be treated like kids, then? Of course, all this being in Jochi's mind and endlessly humble opinion, reality begged to differ. Thus stomping onto the ground from his chair, he poured the last slosh of his drink down his throat and wiped his tattered sleeve across his mouth. In utter disrespect, he then threw the cup right onto the floor and made a rather inauspicious exit.

The bartender sounded his disapproval loudly, almost hissing and growling at the same time. "Watch it!"

"Yeah yeah," the sandbender muttered mindlessly, paying no heed to the idiot behind the counter. The door was his destination, yet a swift kick to a table nearby gave way to a minor detour. Empty cups clattered and broke against the floor, making the barkeep wince again. Jochi was out of there. "I'm leavin', bastard."

So then, a suitable distance away, one would think Jochi would forget the whole mishap, correct? Well, considering this lightweight had about two drinks, making him rather inebriated, reality again begged to differ. Drunk plus Jochi did not equal good, but then again, nothing plus Jochi equalled good. Good and Jochi were not synonymous at all. Little, smelly and annoying maybe, but not good.

About four or five Jochis away from the rickety tavern, back facing the door and not changing during his beeline out of the place, Jochi clinched his fists. "BAD! you," he growled to himself as a distinctive vein pervaded his blushed forehead. Like a heartbeat, the small man turned on a dime and shoved his heel into the earth, likely spelling a messy demise for the shoddy and dilapidated bar. So it did. The place wasn't only shaken by a large rumble of earth released by pent-up hatred and powerful bending, but it was impaled on either front corner by pointy rock spires. Another shaky stomp and rumbling, turning up viciously waves of earth, and so it happened-- support rafters buckled and the roof caved in. Woe to those within, possibly including Ikeru!

[baoli]

Bao Li had just finished his escape into the local crowd at market with the newly aquired outfits in tow when a sudden earthquake shook the ground under him slightly. He didn't even need to look at it to know the cause - it was obvious to anyone with two eyes and a brain that the two benders he had rolled into town with hated one another, and this was probably another of their colossal brawls. The market near the tavern blew up in immediate screams as people ran for cover. Bao Li sighed and ran with the group of people.

He had to admit that, as much as it sucked in a fight, being small for his age had serious advantages for a thief like him in a panic-stricken crowd. Adults - most adults, anyway, the two benders he was traveling with seemed to be exceptions to the rule - were big on protecting small kids in situations like this, which meant not only did he get hidden without trying to, they all left openings for him to take stuff without problems.

Bao Li put on his panic face, faking the tears that came so easily to him at times like this and hiding behind a nearby man. As the man stood in the way of the rushing crowd, Bao Li did his thing. He dipped a few deft fingers into the purse at the man's side, neatly relieving the unsuspecting guy of a few small coins as he cowered for 'shelter from the big scary noises'. He craned around the man's body, watching the rubble and dust-cloud filled area carefully. He was soon rewarded with what he was looking for - confirmation.

Jochi walked away from the run-down (and now collapsed-in) little bar, looking pleased. Bao Li was sure Ikeru would be out any minute now, and was starting to wonder if hanging with these two was worth it - sure, benders were protection for a guy like him, but that only worked if they didn't kill each other or him, or get them all arrested with constant fights like this one. He ducked down an alley at the first available opportunity and watched the tavern area for any sign of the other bender.