On the Road Again

[atalanta]

Banshee's gait was steady on the beaten dirt path. Mesheiko could hear the gentle sound of the ostrich-horse's footfalls on the soft earth. He felt almost guilty for forcing Banshee to carry his weight along with most of their possessions- though there honestly wasn't that much. It seemed as if the majestic creature was no more than a beast of burden. Although Mesheiko and Banshee had gotten off to a bad start, they had easily reconciled when the two of them had fought together in the battle for Ba Seng Se. Both of them had been hailed as heroes, but both had also been sorely traumatized. Banshee, though mostly physically unharmed, had been rather mentally upset, despite his training a war ostrich-horse. Mesheiko, of course, had been wounded in both mind and body. His crippling injury to his leg frustrated him to no end.

And he wished desperately he could simply walk on the ground alongside Midori and his father, put his arm around Midori without nearly falling off Banshee's back. Also, on Banshee's back, he was elevated, physically and symbolically. His father was a much better man than he was. There was no reason that Mesheiko should have attained his heroic status. He was simply doing his job, Banshee as well. They were only normal creatures. And why did they have to suffer so much for it? Mesheiko would much rather be healthy and happy rather than a crippled and angry hero. Then, at least, he could have stayed in the Army, had a life to present to his father and Midori. But no, he had to be brutally injured. What was he to do now? What employer would take a war veteran, crippled in his prime? And what would happen to Banshee, to Midori, to his father? He couldn't provide for any of them. So many questions lay ahead of him, cruelly unanswered.

And so Mesheiko continued on in silence, attempting to not let his troubled mind and foul mood seep into his companions, even Banshee. His own worries were just that: his worries. It was unjust to burden someone else, even those as close to him as those traveling with him, with his petty concerns. Things would all work out in the end, Midori and his father tried to assure him. But Mesheiko was not assuaged. He had seen too many bad things happen to good men in the Army. Mesheiko began to resent his time in the Army itself, for the war was dragging on for what seemed like an eternity and no progress was being made. A hundred years of fighting, destruction, and dying had gone on unchecked. And the only progress being made was that of the Fire Nation, a terrible thing. Even though rumors spread like wildfire of the Avatar's return, it seemed the Earth Kingdom was only the worse for wear. It would just be simpler to surrender, would it not? But even in Mesheiko's condition, he could not and would not let himself think that. They would fight to the very end, for the Fire Nation would destroy their way of life either way.

Mesheiko tore himself away from his bitter thoughts to observe the quiet beauty of the countryside. He had grown in such a peaceful place as this. But yet it seemed such peace was being ripped apart by the efforts fo the Fire Nation. That was why he had fought, and for some reason, the spirits had chosen to end his time there. Mesheiko had to accept this, and let go of his regrets. He could not fight anymore; he would have to find other productive uses of his time, rather than moping about. But such was easier said than done. Midori, walking beside him, seemed to have such a steady faith in him and herself. She seemed virtually untouched by the effects of the war, despite the fact that she had spent weeks upon weeks in a Earth Kingdom Army camp. And for that, Mesheiko envied her. He envied her for many reasons, probably the most of which was the fact that she was healthy and whole. But if that were the only reason, then Mesheiko would be in envy of the entire population.

Even if he did envy her slightly, Mesheiko's love for Midori was much greater. It was she who had given him the internal strength to fight his injury like he had fought the Fire Nation. She had lent him some of her strength, her faith, her fire, when he himself had none. And though he hated himself for it, he knew he had been causing her pain. Mesheiko's brooding had the worst effect on Midori, for she was indeed a positive person, and for Mesheiko to take that away from her made him hate himself for a moment. And yet, he couldn't help it. All these doubts, fears, regrets, and bouts of anger ran amok in his mind unto the point where he simply could not stand it anymore and it boiled over out of his mind into the surrounding air. Mesheiko never had one big blow up, but rather just little puffs of anger pervading the air.

But when he looked at Midori, all that was driven away for a moment. She reminded him that he had so much more to live for than this, that the Army was just one stage of his life to a better one, and that his crippled state was something that he could overcome. And so, his problems were forgotten. "Where are we going again, Midori?" inquired Mesheiko. She had said they needed to return to her home, for her parents were surely worried for her, something Mesheiko's father quite agreed with. It was probably for the best that Mesheiko's father had chosen to go with them, for at least now Midori's parents might not be so suspicious if Mesheiko's own father was with them. Mesheiko glanced to Midori lovingly for a fleeting second before returning his attention to the dilemma ahead. There was a fork in the path ahead of them, and, of couse, as always, Mesheiko was unsure of which way to take.

[midori]

Midori, at the moment, or perhaps, as always, was contrasting Mesheiko quite greatly as she skipped pleasantly beside him, just simply because her thoughts and moods were never anything short of ecstatic. She laughed a bit as she kicked a stray pile of leaves from her path, and then, with a contented sigh, tilted her chin up so her pale, smiling face greeted the hazy afternoon sun, which poured down through the canopy of surrounding trees. She couldn’t help but marvel over how it seemed like such a beautiful day, how things were flowing perfectly, just like she had expected. Here she was, alongside Mesheiko, away from the odd stench and unforgiving gossip that had surrounded them both at the infirmary. It was like old times… Well, except now they had a chaperone, which really wasn’t too bad; it’s not like she and Mesh were going to, well, get in any trouble or anything.

With this very laughable thought, Midori couldn’t help but grin more, glancing at her very tame, gentlemanlike Mesheiko who was riding humbly on the back of solid, old Banshee. Midori skipped over to the ostrich horse, stroking his neck good naturedly, as if to say “good job!” or “keep on going!” Indeed, the ostrich horse had been through a lot; well, they all had been through a lot, really.

Hand remaining on Banshee’s neck, Midori looked to Mesheiko again, wondering exactly what he was thinking. It was really hard to tell sometimes… Mesheiko’s thoughts were quite deep (or at least that’s what she suspected) and therefore it was hard to pinpoint exactly what was on his mind sometimes. Yet, at the same time, it was easy to see what he was feeling, and, after getting to know him better, Midori was pretty talented at finding the source. Right now, he simply looked thoughtful. His eyes – green as the Earth Kingdom flag – were in a bit of a daze at the moment; Midori hoped he wasn’t tearing himself down too much.

That was Mesheiko’s greatest flaw – his attitude. It probably just went along with being stubborn or something. Midori just hoped she could do a good job helping him through this rehabilitation period – getting back into “the real world.” As always, Midori was optimistic. She knew that Mesheiko did have his shockingly good moments; he was quite capable of suddenly sweeping her off her feet, which seemed to totally contrast with the rest of his personality sometimes. Mesheiko must just really like her, Midori thought, and she was going to try and use that to her – and ultimately his – advantage.

It was while creating this analysis that Mesheiko spoke to her. Midori glanced up, smiling amusedly at him for a moment, before glancing back at the path they were on. While Midori wasn’t talented at much, she had an excellent sense of direction, so after buying a map, finding the way home, at least this far, had been simple.

“We need to keep going this way,” Midori explained, gesturing. “Taichi Dai is a few days away still, and my village is not far away from it at all.”

With that swift answer, Midori dashed ahead of the group little more, leading them down the right path. She stayed ahead of the group for a few more moments before rejoining them. She smiled, suddenly eager for conversation.

“It’s quite beautiful out today,” Midori remarked smoothly, smiling. “Which is good… because I think we’ll probably have to camp out tonight. I don’t think there are any towns near enough to stay in…”

[atalanta]

Mesheiko nodded for a moment, not really taking in her words yet memorizing each one, and the tone and inflection as well. He shook himself out his trance-like state to drink in what she was saying. How could Midori skip alongside him, with everything that had happened and what was going to happen? But perhaps that was her whole of way of life was not to think about what had happened and what was to come. It was a new concept to Mesheiko, not something he could easily adapt to. It was all well and good when it was simply in Midori, but for himself to try and adopt it was rather intimidating. Mesheiko was not afraid of much, for he did not have much to lose, but it did overwhelm him a bit. Midori's beauty shined from the inside out- for although some would call her unkempt, it was her personality that made her outer beauty truly shine and glisten.

Banshee halted a little at Midori's skipping over to him, bewildered. Perhaps the ostrich-horse was more like Mesheiko than he thought, unable to comprehend how Midori could simply radiate with optimism. Banshee was generally an upbeat creature, but lately he had been beaten down by the separation from Mesheiko, being dragged around from the care of person to person. The ostrich-horse reared back a little bit, but arched his neck to her hand gently. He was still suffering from the effects of the battle, for although he had not been physically injured as Mesheiko had been, it had traumatized him greatly. The ostrich-horse could barely bear to be touched anymore, even by those of his own species. It was rather a shame for such a beautiful beast to have to suffer so.

But both he and Mesheiko had to press onward, for indeed there was truly nothing else they could do. Midori had the right idea; she always did. "No, I don't believe so," Mesheiko's father chimed in. Mesheiko had nearly forgotten his father was travelling with them, for a normally extroverted man was being rather quiet. Perhaps they all had something on their minds today; well, except for Midori. Perhaps it was simply a male thing, then. Some plague was attacking the minds of men and male beasts. But of course, the only plague was their current predicament, which Mesheiko realized in perspective was not so horribly terrible. Still, he could not help but worry and concern himself. That would likely be his downfall. "I've traveled this road many times before. Did I ever take you this way, Mesheiko?" Mesheiko's father inquired of him. Mesheiko's brow furrowed, wrinkled in confusion. He and his father rarely traveled very far in their time together; perhaps it had been a foreshadow of Mesheiko's injury. Despite his injury, however, Mesheiko was up and moving- well, on Banshee's back, of course. That was far better than the doctors had predicted for him at this time in his recovery. Mesheiko claimed it was all due to Midori. "I don't think so, Dad," Mesheiko answered. "A shame. Maybe you could've met Midori earlier," his father replied with a wink.

It was a strange thought, to wonder if he and Midori had met any other way. He doubted they would still have the same relationship. They had met over a common cause- helping a pregnant woman, Xia Feng, give birth. It was strangely unique, but it had brought them together like nothing else ever could have. To have met in any sort of mundane would not have been an apt beginning for their relationship, for their relationship in itself was an incredible thing. Only an incredible beginning would be truly suitable for them. Mesheiko almost wished his father wasn't accompanying them, for then he could spend more time with Midori. Yet it was his father as well as Midori who kept Mesheiko out of constant state of depression. Midori, he was sure, would be incredibly frustrated if she had to deal with all this emotion of Mesheiko's on her own. She needed help, and fortunately that help came from a good place. His father knew Mesheiko in a way that no one else ever could, even Midori. "No problem, then. I have Midori and I's blankets, and a tent for you, Dad," Mesheiko said, making sure everyone was informed of their sleeping accomodations. Banshee snorted a little, as if to ask where he would be sleeping. "On the ground, under the stars, as usual, Banshee," Mesheiko said to the ostrich-horse. Banshee stomped a little. He had had better accomodations in the Army stable, Mesheiko knew, but it was the best they could do for now. Besides, like Midori said, it would be a nice night.

"Oh, yeah right, like I could trust you two to sleep together unchaperoned," Mesheiko's father commented teasingly. Truth be told, the two young lovers were surprisingly trustworthy, and his father knew it. "The last thing I need is another grandchild. I feel old enough already with your sisters," Mesheiko's father said. "Too late, Dad. Maral's due in just a few months," Mesheiko replied. Mesheiko's three sisters, Arzu, Utari, and Maral, along with their children and Utari's husband had come to visit for the dismissal ceremony. They had traveled home in what seemed like a caravan. The good-byes, though strange, had provoked even Mesheiko to a few tears. He had never had a particularly good relationship with his sisters, but now, with his life in turmoil, everything had changed.

[midori]

Midori grinned at the banter that took place between father and son, swiftly amused. The young traveler, for having a surprisingly solo occupation, loved people, especially the conversation that traveled between friends. When people were happy and partaking in easy conversation, she felt content. When things went smoothly, Midori felt completely relaxed. Because of this, she didn’t feel the need to interrupt any of the conversation that took place between Mesheiko and his father... Well, except the last part.

Midori’s smile became even more pronounced for a brief moment before her face and expression completely blanked, and she stopped right in her tracks. As Midori had been ahead of the others, she abruptly turned around, dropping the messenger bag that had been hanging off her right shoulder, her face contorted into a rare but intense expression of horror. Her bright green eyes widened and her mouth hung ajar, while she stared up at Mesheiko, staring mercilessly at him as she sucked in a horrified gasp.

“Oh! Mesheiko! I didn’t tell you?!”

She stared at him for several moments, her eyes purely shocked and appalled, before she stared to the ground, ashamed, gulping harshly.

“I—I’m… I’m. Pr-pre…”

And suddenly her face was completely untroubled, and she flashed Mesheiko a vibrant grin, bouncing a little in excitement. Her words spewed out then, easy and coated with her traditional peppiness.

“I’m pretty excited to be camping out tonight!” She laughed before turning to Mesheiko’s father. “And I hope everything goes really well with Maral’s baby. Tell her I said congratulations when you see her next!”

Once again, Midori abruptly changed her subject and attention, tilting her head up and gracing Mesheiko with a soft smile, continuing then to stride easily alongside him and Banshee. Midori didn’t know why she felt so talkative all of a sudden; maybe the long streak of silence had made her more restless than she had thought, or she simply had thought up a lot of topics and was eager to share them with the group. Again, before she had even spoken, Midori changed her mind, and she glanced back to Mesheiko’s father, her smile mischievous.

“But! You just never know with these well-mannered types,” Midori added wisely, winking. “They look obedient to start with, but there’s a rebel just under the surface! Isn’t that right, Mesheiko?”

Midori smiled sweetly up to him then, and, without waiting for a reply, smoothly slipped her hand between Mesheiko’s and Banshee’s reins, soon wrapping her fingers snugly with his own.

“See?” she rang, glancing suddenly back at Mesheiko’s father, as if she was partaking in something outright scandalous. “We’re already holding hands!”

[atalanta]

He never failed to be truly baffled by her behavior sometimes. Her attitude, always so upbeat, was incredibly constant and never complex. Mesheiko, on the other hand, was perhaps the polar opposite. The only similarity they shared was that of consistency; her mood was happy, his was generally foul. How was it, then, that they always came together so easily? Perhaps it was the old saying, "opposite attract." But opposites didn't truly attract in humans, for they all had at least one thing in common: humanity. Though it was debatable, particularly among the Fire Nation, they all possessed some shred of humanity. In this way, they were all related. No man was an island, despite how isolated Mesheiko felt. There were dozens who had gone before them, also walking through life though crippled. So why did he feel so much self-pity, as if he was going through this entirely alone? Perhaps his injury was not of the body, but the mind.

Training in the Army had always been about training the mind. Yes, they drilled until their bodies were sore, but the true training was of the mind. The body could fight until death if the mind let go of its barriers. He had to remember that. He had to. But his mind suddenly failed him as Midori's face fell, apparently fearing some great shock or disappointment. He didn't even realize what she was trying to say until after she had finished stuttering and formed a full sentence. He just shook his head with a slight smile. Midori always had some trick up her sleeve, some amusement. She was a sweet girl, and so he felt horrible by not giving her the attention she so deserved. The feelings were, they were just defeated by something else, and that was his self-pity. He had to conquer that, or surrender his relationship with Midori. Everything was a war these days.

"We will," Mesheiko said, trying to conjure a smile for Midori. "Although," his father began, "by the time we can return, Maral will probably already have given birth. A shame we're probably going to miss it, but she's a strong girl and surrounded by the rest of the family. She'll be fine," his father assured. "What do you think she's going to name the baby, Dad? Did she have any ideas?" Mesheiko inquired, for indeed Maral was the quietest of his sisters and though they had a deep bond they spoke little. "Why, Kazakh, of course, after the baby's grandfather," his father replied. Mesheiko gave a little chuckle at this. He regretted not having been there for the births of his five nieces and nephews- five! His sisters were rather productive. And now it seemed he would miss the birth of the newest niece or nephew as well. But it couldn't be helped. Right now, the most important thing in his life was Midori.

Mesheiko said nothing but had a quiet smile to him. Midori was not subtle, but very sweet. She was quite the young woman, and Mesheiko wouldn't want it any other way. "Right," Mesheiko replied quietly. "Oh yes, my boy's just a troublemaker," Kazakh said, elbowing Mesheiko in the ribs gently as Midori slipped her hand through his. Suddenly, Mesheiko knew a surreal, yet pleasant peace. Banshee gave a quick squawk, awakening Mesheiko from his dreamlike trance, but suddenly Mesheiko knew it would all be okay.

[midori]

Midori laughed quietly at the pleasant responses she had received from her act, though, her gaze, softer now, seemed glued to Mesheiko – most vibrantly, his face and expression. He wore a faint smile, but his deep, green eyes held again that grave thoughtfulness. He seemed a little dreamy, and for what seemed the one-thousandth time that day, Midori wondered desperately what was happening in that thick little head of his. Quietly, she shook her head at her assumptions. Once, just once, she wanted to bring pure, unsaturated joy back into his eyes. She wanted to hear him genuinely laugh, have some fun… It was actually a little challenging to picture, after all those sad weeks they had spent together in the infirmary; Mesheiko’s mind was poisoned by the effects of war, his injury… She knew fun must seem so bewildering to him, and it, for a moment, it made her a little sad… However, like always, her outlook brightened. Midori knew it was a challenge, but she had some tricks up her sleeve.

A faint smirk apparent on her lips at this, Midori squeezed Mesheiko’s hand gently, before glancing back a Kazakh with a wink.

“Oh, but don’t worry too much,” Midori soothed brightly. “I think I can keep him under control.” She posed sweetly, leaning her head against Banshee’s side. “I guess I have that soothing effect on men.”

She laughed, and, with another soft squeeze of her hand, silently hoped that was true.

[atalanta]

"I'm sure you can, Midori, I'm sure you can," Mesheiko's father agreed with the young woman. Indeed, Mesheiko could say the same, but chose not to. His father was far more outgoing than he himself was, and while Mesheiko loved his father dearly he was beginning to regret the current situation. With his father along, it was difficult to spend true quality time with Midori; but, perhaps, that would make his time with Midori all the more valuable. And it wasn't as if not having Kazakh along would improve his mood any. If anything, it probably would have made it worse. And so, his father could keep Midori entertained and happy when he himself could not. Still, he felt guilty. Kazakh had a home to return to, three daughters, many grandchildren and one more on the way. Why would he choose, then, to stay with his son and Midori? His father and he had never really had the chance to truly bond, so perhaps they were making up for lost time. And in the end, he was glad his father came along for both physical and moral support. Mesheiko was having a hard time adjusting to the "real world," to say the least.

"That you do," Mesheiko murmured, barely audible, and Banshee seemed to toss his head in agreement. Mesheiko took ahold of the reins for a moment with both hands to steady himself, letting go of Midori's hand, for usually he rode with simply one hand on Banshee's reins. The human and ostrich-horse had formed a tight, close-knit bond over a short amount of time. But no fear stirred in Mesheiko's heart, for he trusted Banshee. Banshee had become quite the asset while Mesheiko was recovering, though he still had difficulties climbing onto the ostrich-horse's back. The company he had with him was the best Mesheiko could ask for, and yet he still felt somewhat empty inside. What was it that was missing? He suddenly thought of Cheng, Kun Tu, and Hung Yong, and even Cheng's ostrich-horse Zeki, whom Banshee had become a sort of "partners-in-crime" with. He missed these men, his friends and comrades, but he must move on now. It was a new chapter in his life, yet Mesheiko could not help but be intimidated by this new chapter.

He let his hand slip back with Midori's. He knew he was troubling her, and he hated himself for that, he realized. He couldn't bring himself out of this depressed state, and that only brought pain to Midori, and he hated himself for doing that. But it was a vicious cycle, and he couldn't break free of it. Mesheiko tried to smile slightly, for her sake, and keep it up. He was silent for quite a while, but he tried to keep positive, or at least seem that way. Mesheiko only wanted Midori to be happy, and it always seemed that he was bringing her just the opposite. His father was quite pleasant, chattering away to the young lovers, and Mesheiko would respond when necessary. It occasionally even brought a genuine smile to his face. Cheng was quite the professional at making Mesheiko laugh even when he didn't want to, be happy when he was quite depressed, such as now. The two soldiers had bonded nearly to the point of brotherhood. They were truly loyal friends. And it was then Mesheiko reminded himself that Cheng did indeed offer Mesheiko a career of sorts, helping on his family's farm, for they needed the help with both of Cheng's older brothers gone. But that would be a while still; Cheng's term didn't end for another few months.

The light soon faded into darkness, and the four companions, an odd bunch, could hardly travel any further. It wasn't safe, not at night. "We probably ought to set up camp for the night," Mesheiko pointed out. It was difficult to know just where to camp; too close to a village, town, or city, and there were no doubt bandits and ruffians waiting on the outskirts to rob travelers of their possessions. Too far out into the wilderness, and there animals far more dangerous than Banshee that could be disturbed. They were in the countryside still, perhaps two or three days away from Tachi Dai. It seemed safe enough. They would have to be more wary over the next couple of nights, perhaps check into an inn. Mesheiko chuckled a little when he remembered when he and Midori first traveled together, having to find that dirty inn and sleep in that far more filthy room, and, of course, arm wrestling. Midori was full of surprises, he had learned, and he was excited to find more of them.

He passed down the equipment to Kazakh, who seemed to find a suitable place on the outskirts of the forests, surrounded by only a few small trees. He pitched his tent quickly and then came back to Mesheiko and Banshee, taking Midori and Mesheiko's blankets as well. Then came the hard part, getting off of Banshee. He swung his good leg over the ostrich-horse's back, and clumsily placed his good foot on the ground, the bad foot following with some difficulty. Mesheiko considered lighting a fire for a moment to keep wild animals at bay, and then deciding against it. Although fire kept away animals, it would attract people, and they were probably more likely in danger from people. Mesheiko took their blankets from Kazakh, and he unrolled Midori's and spread it on the ground before she even had a chance, and grinned at her with that same famous mischievous grin of Cheng's, though Mesheiko's was lopsided. "Ready to hit the hay?" Mesheiko asked as he unrolled his own blanket, still keeping one arm locked around Banshee's neck for support. The ostrich-horse had become a crutch of sorts while Mesheiko was rehabilitating.

Kazakh, after a quick check of the area, pushed the flap to his tent aside and went in, jokingly warning the two lovers, "No funny business, you two." Mesheiko simply shook his head and then limped lightly over to Midori, kissing her on the cheek before she could realize what was going on. "Good night," he said to accompany it, and hobbled back to his own blanket, pulling it closer to Midori's, and tied Banshee's reins to the nearest tree. The last thing he needed right now was to lose Banshee. Mesheiko laid down on his back, looking at the stars. Very few were appearing, however. The night was cloudy, much like his mind, and his future. But his heart was very clear. It pointed straight to Midori.

[midori]

As their modest camp took shape, Midori smiled, her eyes filling with that same, burning flare; again her mind was bursting with pleasant memories – some about her and Mesheiko’s past adventures, but others that transcended even those days. They were of her on some of her “trips” before that fateful day when she and Mesheiko crossed paths; however she would be strolling along a similar trail, watching the stars, and laying out a blanket or two to spend the night under them… The routine in which Mesheiko and his father seemed to fall reminded her of those peaceful snippets of the past, and it filled her with that same peace and comfort… Wasn’t it so nice to be around loved ones in such a beautiful, homey setting?

And speaking of loved ones…

Midori seemed to pay special attention to Mesheiko as he went about setting things out for the two of them; still she wondered about his thoughts and how he was truly fairing. She knew he was struggling, she only wished she knew specifics and how to help him… She loved him, but she wasn’t sure if that information alone was enough to bring him true, consistent happiness.

However, Mesheiko seemed to behave rather pleasantly, and this gave her hope. When he asked her if she was ready to hit the hay (with a smile! she thought joyfully), Midori only grinned, though an expert would see that there was mischief in her smile. Truly, she was not tired at all – or if she was, she was much more curious and eager than tired. And Kazakh’s comment somehow made her more awake, her smile more rebellious… And though she would truly never dare to do anything his statement might suggest, Midori suddenly found that she wished to scoot a little closer to Mesheiko… and his surprising kiss did everything but quell that thirst.

However, Midori did not return his goodnight, but surprisingly remained silent, watching him as he moved his blanket and reclined. Her curiosity pulled at her heart once more and the brisker night air kept her eyes wide. And slowly her smile curled, becoming ever more mischievous.

Swiftly, and with a cheerful hum, Midori pulled her blanket perpendicular to Mesheiko’s own and plopped down on her stomach. She hummed for a moment more before bursting out cheerfully.

“I’m not tired!”

Then, for her head was close to him, she then rested her cheek neatly on his stomach, her face pointing towards his. She smiled and continued, a sort of sweet innocence coating her words.

“You wanna talk?”

It was an open invitation, and Mesheiko was free to accept or refuse. However, Midori’s eyes watched him with hushed eagerness and vibrancy – expectation. And as she paused, she twiddled her feet cutely in the air, a calm but easy smile on her lips.

[atalanta]

Mesheiko closed his eyes not to the beauty of the stars, but of Midori. She may not consider herself beautiful, and others may subscribe to the same notion, but Mesheiko certainly saw a deep beauty within her. It was subtle, but unique, the kind of beauty that did not jump out at you immediately; you had to seek to find it. Mesheiko sought it, sought her eagerly, during their time together. However, he was afraid he ruined it, or was going to in the near future, with his attitude. He was afraid he was pushing her away subconsciously, though he didn't mean to. However, Midori seem to be none deterred, for she was just as bright and peppy as ever. She seemed happy just in his presence, though Mesheiko could hardly decipher why. He couldn't understand it, but he was glad for it. Without Midori, Mesheiko would be entirely lost. Although his father, his former comrades, and of course Banshee had provided much support, it was Midori who truly provided him motivation, though he often tried to undermine it. He tried to improve his condition, his position both physically and mentally for her sake. He remembered trying to stand with the help of the nurses for weeks in order to stand up and kiss her that day. He tried to walk so he could walk with her, though he could hardly get farther than a couple of steps on his own. Still, it was far better than the doctors and surgeons had predicted for him.

And so he was content to fall asleep to these peaceful thoughts of Midori and breathed deeply, his breaths beginning to relax into the slow rhythm of sleep. Suddenly, he could sense a disturbance, hearing noises, and his green eyes popped open, scanning for any danger. It was simply Midori, and she laid her head on his stomach. He chuckled, then sighed. She was so energetic, like a young animal. He simply hoped he wasn't leading this animal into danger, like a lamb to the slaughter. It was probably the best thing, at least physically, for Midori to have left the camp. If she had arrived in the camp any earlier than she did, she could have been caught in the same battle that resulted in his disabling injuries. He would have never forgiven himself if she had been hurt. He might hurt her emotionally, still, and so he had to proceed with caution in this relationship, though he would much like to explore further with her.

Mesheiko closed his eyes for a moment, taking it all in, her physical presence there with him. He could almost smell her scent. While she said she did not smell the best, for she was not traditional and did not bother with the same thing most other females did; but there was a natural scent about her that captured Mesheiko, and ensnared him. She was so excited, so happy to be here with him. And so, she wasn't tired, unlike Mesheiko, for whom the slightest movements could be a physical triumph, but at the same time completely drain his reserves of energy. It didn't help how deep he allowed his thoughts to run, which also likely depleted his energy. Sleep was a welcome refuge for him, but then again, so was Midori.
He could take his share of sleep anytime, but his time with Midori was limited, though he knew not how much. And so he shifted a bit, rocking he shoulders back and forth, trying to disturb her as little as possible, and then placed his elbows behind him to rest, so he could look at Midori. "Of course you aren't," he said, shaking his head, but at the same time laughing. "You and Banshee."

The ostrich-horse lifted his head from where was nestled against his body, cocking his head a bit at the mention of his name. He looked at the pair of humans with curious eyes, as if to question their quiet conversation, then laid his head back down, but Banshee was by no means sleeping. He had learned by now that the animal, his dear friend, could lay awake, alert, for hours. Banshee was a sentry of sorts, though if he thought anything was wrong he would screech, most true to his namesake. Mesheiko's voice was low partly because he was tired, but also because he trying to keep from waking up his father. Kazakh faced a great burden, trying to support a burden of a son unwilling to support himself. Mesheiko felt guilt over his self-pity; though doctors said it was normal, it was not for Mesheiko. It was not good for making in the world, certainly not in the Army. Discipline was key, and anything that was not disciplined was considered weak. Perhaps that was the source of it, that Mesheiko considered himself weak. But he had to push that aside for now, put on a strong, smiling face for Midori, for if not, he could lose her. And that would be the worst possible fate he could ask for. He would rather suffer his injuries a thousand times over again than lose her. So, despite his fatigue, he confirmed her request.

"Sure. What about?"

[midori]

Midori replied to Mesheiko’s confirmation with a smile and a thoughtful hum, though there was truly no thinking to it. She had wanted to get inside his head all day, to know his thoughts and to help ease the certain pain of those thoughts… but Midori knew that she still must proceed with caution. Mesheiko’s happiness would be a challenge, and, well, she was improvising at the moment. Simply, she thought, a good first start would be to get his degrading thoughts out into the open; at least she could get an idea of how to help him improve…

“Well…” Midori began in that same, happy, careless voice. However, with her next phrase, her voice grew softer – gentle – and more caring. It was important for her to show Mesheiko that she truly cared for him, was concerned about the thing she was about to bring up. She hoped her eyes communicated this too. When she spoke, her hands wandered and wrapped around one of his own, holding it gently as her cheek continued to rest on his stomach.

“You’ve been awfully quiet today. What have you been thinking?”

[atalanta]

Mesheiko sighed inwardly, making sure not to let her see it. That would only add to his predicament. Of course she would notice his odd behavior. How could he expect her not to? She was so caring, so sweet. There was a stark contrast between the two of him. A storm seemed to almost literally follow him wherever he went, his mood was so foul. And it wasn't her fault. He could never, and would never blame her for his own faults. His extreme determination, some would even say stubbornness, would be the downfall of him. Mesheiko reached out and stroked Banshee's feathers lightly, for the ostrich-horse did not appreciate his feathers being torn out. If Mesheiko were in Banshee's position, he would feel the same way. Mesheiko's relationship with Banshee calmed him, however; it provided him with some sense of strength and stability. For, after all, Banshee had been Mesheiko's hero many a time. When he and Midori were escaping the reaches of the Fire Nation, it was Banshee who carried them out of that forest swiftly and safely. And during the battle, though it seemed long ago and just yesterday simultaneous, it had been Banshee who had enough survival instinct to warn others with his screeches, yet the courage to charge through Fire Nation forces.

But he simply didn't know how to respond to Midori's question. He could hardly be truly honest with her without hurting her further. That was the last thing he wanted to do. What would he tell her? That he had been doubting nearly every aspect of his life? That his world was crashing down around him? Hardly appropriate for a time such as now. Mesheiko's father had always taught him that as a man, it was his job to protect women, whether they had relation to him or not. It was logical that he was teach Mesheiko this, though whether consciously or not Mesheiko did not know. Mesheiko was Kazakh's only son. He had to continue on the family dynasty, so to speak. Mesheiko felt as if he had failed his father in a way by getting himself injured, no matter how much glory and honor he may have won in the process. Glory and honor wasn't a job, and it couldn't earn him a living. He had earned a small parcel of money from the Army as a sort of parting gift, enough to live on, enough to possibly start with. But he needed a job. Who was going to hire a cripple?

And that was what it all came back to, what it all revolved around: his paralyzed leg. What good was he to anyone, not even able to walk? As a boy, he had dreamed about this sort of thing. But he had more dreamed about the glory, not so much the more unfortunate consequences. There times he could go back to the past and warn his former self, warn him so he wouldn't suffer this pain now. But no, that would be truly cowardly. He would have never have saved those people, and most importantly, he would have never have met Midori. Midori was truly his greatest blessing. If there was anything he gave thanks to the gods for, it was her. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And so, when he was causing her pain or confusion, like he was now, those emotions doubled back on himself, but negatively. "Oh, you know. Things. Stuff," Mesheiko said, chuckling at the feebleness of his own answers. That so obviously answered her question. It did neither him, nor her, to avoid her questions. It only hindered and damaged their relationship further. "You probably don't want to hear my self-pity. I know I don't," Mesheiko said.

[midori]

Midori could not help but grin a little at Mesheiko’s almost comically vague first reply. Indeed, it was something she very well might have said if given that question; however, hers would have been rooted in some comedy or peppy sarcasm, while Mesheiko’s, she was sure, was only expressed due to an unwillingness to communicate his true pain with her honestly. And, yes, this theory was abruptly proved with her dear friend’s next comment. Her smile faltered slightly, for a mix of emotions began to well freshly within her.

Firstly, she felt the need to contradict; he was wrong. Midori yearned to hear his true inner thoughts; it was her whole purpose for asking in the first place. No matter how depressing they were, she wanted to know. What kind of friend – or beloved for that matter – would she be if she did not respect and try to sympathize with his thoughts? How could she comfort him like she should if he did not trust her with such deep, personal troubles? It made her a little sorrowful that he did not open up to her immediately, but she supposed he had his reasons…

While thinking these things, Midori fiddled idly with Mesheiko’s hand, soon pressing his palm to her cheek as she shifted onto her back, using his body as a sort of pillow. She looked up to the sky – foggy and dark, revealing no stars.

The sky was very much like Mesheiko, she thought. The fog was his mind-set. It clouded the bright stars underneath, the characteristics that had sparked her interest and eventually her love. But they were still there. Underneath the fog, that careless, happy Mesheiko still existed. And sometimes, the fog would shift and reveal small parts of him… but the fog would ultimately dominate until some sort of sun could dissolve it for good.

“You know, Mesheiko…” She began, little emotion present in her dazed murmur. “You’re wrong. I really do want to hear. I want to know what’s wrong… and I want to help.” She paused, before continuing, a little more defiant. “Though, I think I already know what’s wrong. You’re sad because you don’t think you’re worth anything and that’s just not true. If you weren’t worth anything, I wouldn’t waste my time. But you’re worth a lot, and you know how you can tell?” She feigned a pause, but then continued in a softer, but rather proud voice. “Because I love you. And, well, that’s worth a lot, I think.”

[atalanta]

Mesheiko hardly knew how to respond to her. She always left him speechless. There were times he wished she didn't, that she didn't always test his boundaries and push his comfort zone; but then again, that was what he loved about. It was a double-edged sword. Of course she had faults, he realized that, but she seemed utterly pure and flawless, the epitome of all that was good in this life, or at least his. He would never be able to be good enough for her; it was simply impossible, inconceivable. And she tried to assure him otherwise, but it was all in vain. Mesheiko was not the type of person that would easily give in; he was far too stubborn, perhaps too much for his own good. But he was set in his ways firmly, embedded as if in a bed of rock. His strength was beginning to leave him now, if he ever had it. Sleep was no longer refreshing, it was simply another struggle against his pain. At times, in his dreams, he imagined he could truly walk again, physically sweep Midori off of her feet. That was another time, though, almost seeming entire lifespans away from where he was now. How could so much change in such a short amount of time?

Kazakh could heard the young lovers' words outside his tent and worried for his son. Now that he had just gotten Mesheiko back, he was afraid of losing him again. His son was so hard on himself; he was truly his own worst enemy. However, there was little Kazakh could do to remedy this situation. This was a monster Mesheiko would simply have to conquer on his own; after all, it was created by his own hand. Mesheiko was his own undoing. Kazakh and Midori could do their best to help Mesheiko out of this pit he had dug, but neither he nor she were miracle workers. Kazakh could find Mesheiko a job, could assure him that he was doing well, but it would never be successful until Mesheiko himself believed it. He could see Midori fighting for her lover with every word she spoke, but it was all in vain. She was healing open wounds, and it was as if they were poisoned with venom and the bleeding never truly stopped. If it did, it was only temporary. She could improve his state temporarily, but if there was to be any fixed bliss, then Mesheiko would have to do it himself. He was a grown man now, though young. Kazakh had to let his son learn life's lessons. But he could hardly tell Midori her efforts were in vain, she was such a sweet girl. Maybe there was hope for Mesheiko still.

Back outside the tent, Mesheiko pondered how to respond. She expected a loving and sweet answer back, he knew, but he could hardly give it to her. It wasn't in his make up, at least not right now. He felt hopeless, stuck in abyss absolutely impossible to climb. The walls were smooth, his fingers could find no holds as they traced the walls. Midori waited at the top for him, ever so patiently. It frustrated him to no end that he had no means of reaching her. He was slumped mentally, his hope all but dead. Midori could do what she could. It was like beating a dead horse; it did little good. So, instead of attempting to answer her and perhaps depress her further, he remained silent. Silence was golden, or so it was said. "Goodnight," he said, and carefully removed her from her laying position on him. He turned so that all she saw of him was his back. She hardly wanted to see his face, he was sure. He was glad that he couldn't. Banshee looked at him curiously, as if to inquire about Mesheiko's odd behavior. "I'm sorry," Mesheiko murmured, though whether it was audible, he did not know. There were a lot of things these days that he didn't know.

[midori]

As much as Midori had refused to be hurt by Mesheiko’s response, a heavy ache still settled darkly within her chest. She felt shocked that he had rejected her this way, and, indeed, this mix of surprise and hurt radiated from her bright green eyes, in the way her smooth brow wrinkled. Sitting up, Midori simply stared at him, her mouth slightly agape; this was the last kind of response she had expected from him. Sure, she expected him to perhaps speak vaguely, or at the very least give her some explanation of why he did not speak. But this… this was almost rude! And she had almost nothing to work with now.

Her fists gripped the blankets on either side of her in a brief, intense moment of frustration. However, she exhaled a soft sigh and released them, realizing this rare resentment would get her no where. She glanced up into the sky, her previous inspiration, wondering how to carry out her next move. The fog that had once promised to be her easily manipulative object, was now a seemingly impossible challenge. But, no. It wasn’t impossible. Midori had seen the good in him and it would come out to stay, even if it meant using some tough love.

But as far as immediate action went, Midori was dry of inspiration. She huffed, crossing her arms childishly as if that would somehow force a desired reaction. But after a moment after that failing, she sighed, moodily plopping on her makeshift bed. She was turned toward Mesheiko, and though she could only see his back, she stared at him and spoke as if she held his full attention.

“I’m not backing down, Mesheiko. I’m going to show you why you deserve to treat yourself better.”

[atalanta]

Banshee's eyes and ears were wide open to capture the intensity of the moment. He was baffled, bewildered by the whole turn of events. He had become well-accustomed to Mesheiko him as a crutch of sorts, although far more useful. There was a time when the ostrich-horse would have rejected and refused Mesheiko's reliance on him, but their relationship had changed drastically in a short amount of time. Mesheiko knew nothing of Banshee's past, but it made no difference. They were bonded together, fused eternally by the unfolding of a tragedy. And so man and beast had learned much about each other in that short little span of time, each others' mannerisms, their likes and dislikes, their habits, and of course, Banshee's screech. Mesheiko had learned that all too well. He had never struck a blow to Banshee's back, unlike so many owners of animals who too often abused them, and for that the ostrich-horse respected him. His last human hadn't been so kind, and so he had been wary to trust Mesheiko. It had worked out well for them, fortunately.

And then along came Midori not too much later. He was quicker to trust her; human females were often far kinder than their male counterparts. And so now, whatever was wrong, it pained Banshee to see his humans in a rough state. Though their words made absolutely no sense to him, their body language was easy enough to ready, tones like an open book. He had felt the vibrations of Mesheiko's voice very little today; Banshee, of all creatures, would know, since they were practically physically attached. It concerned him. Banshee had seen Mesheiko very little over the past few months; in fact, it was mostly Mesheiko's human friend who came to visit him, along with that other ostrich-horse. Banshee had been frightened of him at first; after all, he had just been in a major battle and so was slightly traumatized. However, that human had introduced him to a certain female, so perhaps he was alright...

So strange these humans were! Even Mesheiko was almost always stewing about something. Could they never keep their emotions in check? Mesheiko's female friend was probably the only steady one among the bunch, tried as Mesheiko did to rein in his emotions. Needless to say, it usually was not a success. And was the female, being all happy and quirky as usual, and Mesheiko, sulking, of course. Never too good of a combination, despite the two bizarre humans' chemistry. And as soon as the female closed in to make her move, though Banshee hardly knew what she was up to, Mesheiko turned her away. He could have predicted that in an instant. Banshee rolled his eyes at the humans' action before Mesheiko rolled over to see the ostrich-horse. Of course Banshee was still awake, so he stared at Mesheiko, puzzled. These humans, they made so little sense to him.

Banshee could hear the crackle of another fire off in the distance; of course the humans' ears were too puny to pick it up. If it were serious, he would let Mesheiko know. These humans, they slept so much! As soon as darkness fell, they needed to shut their eyes for some sleep. How boring! Banshee loved the night, it was full of such intriguing sounds. Were it not for this tether, he would go off to explore some himself, but he had seen the look of panic in Mesheiko's eyes when he wandered off. Banshee did not want to cause this human pain, bizarre though he may be. Eventually Banshee did shut his eyes for a bit of sleep, though not nearly as much as the humans, and his popped open again with the sun, and nearly as bright. He screeched a little bit, but Mesheiko reacted quickly and grabbed Banshee's beak, which Banshee proceeded to snap at, though his intent was not to hurt Mesheiko. It was just rather rude, interrupting an ostrich-horse in the middle of his call, though he did stop. Humans just didn't understand.

Unfortunately, his intentions seemed not to have followed through, since he could see a stain appearing on the human's hand. Mesheiko was muttering furiously, though trying to mask it for Midori's sake. Banshee snorted a little, stuck his beak in the air. It was the human's fault anyway for trying to keep him quiet. He should know better by now. He should know better by now on a lot of things, especially the female.