Things you need to know about Swampies

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Things you need to know about Swampies
Written by Bard Child and dictated by Kulap (That’s me!)

Hiya! Mah name is Kulap and I live in the Foggy Swamp. Now Imma ‘bout twenty seasons old, I have husband, his name is Dan-dan, I’m also a very important shaman in the swamp. However me and mah friend here, (I can’t type so she’s doin’ it fer me) think that ya’ll need a lesson on us Swamp-folk, so sit yer tukkus on a log and turn on yer noggins fer this.

Numbah one: We’re not stupid. Ok we can be kinda slow at somethings. But super quick in others; Imma getting’ sick of people portrayin’ us as dumb frogs onna log. Sure we aren’t book smart, but when it comes to survival instincts, intuition and knowledge. We got yew beat! When it comes to the swamp, it’s a pressing and dangerous environment, yew have to know whut kinda foods are tasty, and whut isn’t. If you don’t then well…sorry ‘bout yer luck. Yew won’t live long. That’s the truth.

Numbah two: We’re not brutal thugs. So we’re a tad xenophobic. But normally we’re pretty friendly folk. After all the Avatar hanged out with Du and Tho. And those catgator brained, lumps we’re pretty civil at least. Though they tried to eat the Avatar’s…bison…thing.

Numbah three: Our hygiene isn’t that bad. We do bathe and wash our hair. We chew kind of bark that helps us fight bad breath and we don’t have many problems with head lice, why? We use lots of fleabane. We don’t always run around naked either. I do but that’s because Imma odd like that.

Numbah four: Lastly we are also very respectful of our home. We don’t wreck wildlife, or waste things, we live in harmony with our livin’ swamp. It’s a critter too so we respect it.

Now yew got that in yer noggins keep that in mind when yew…mun people go make swampfolk.

So ya’ll have a good day Namaste and may the spirits be with you.